Tuesday, March 17, 2009
You shall know the truth
There are different levels of awareness of one's truths.
On one level, there is the surface explanations that are convenient to keep the status quo and a functional denial in place. For example, in a divorce filing, a wife claimed that her husband deliberately and willfully squeezed the tube of toothpaste and left the top off. Certainly, the reasons for wanting to end a marriage goes much deeper than a tube of toothpaste. Another example of a surface explanation is a friend who claims they were just too busy to call back, when the truth might be an intentional avoidance.
Finding deeper levels of the truth, that in fact the wife is fearful that the husband will never respect her needs, or that the friend finds your public behavior embarrassing because it is similar to his or her parent, is important because it takes a tremendous amount of energy to contain and keep the truth from oneself and others. I have observed that when a person says to another or oneself what he or she is most afraid of expressing and acknowledges that reality, the situation changes. Speaking to a core truth, whether or not another person acknowledges it, can create a shift in the world.
Truth telling is the recognition of what is complete in the moment and naming it. In many cultures' mythologies, it is the naming of a spirit, knowing the truth behind a deception, or uncovering a mystery that leads to the next stage of growth.
What layers of the truth do you have yet to uncover?
On one level, there is the surface explanations that are convenient to keep the status quo and a functional denial in place. For example, in a divorce filing, a wife claimed that her husband deliberately and willfully squeezed the tube of toothpaste and left the top off. Certainly, the reasons for wanting to end a marriage goes much deeper than a tube of toothpaste. Another example of a surface explanation is a friend who claims they were just too busy to call back, when the truth might be an intentional avoidance.
Finding deeper levels of the truth, that in fact the wife is fearful that the husband will never respect her needs, or that the friend finds your public behavior embarrassing because it is similar to his or her parent, is important because it takes a tremendous amount of energy to contain and keep the truth from oneself and others. I have observed that when a person says to another or oneself what he or she is most afraid of expressing and acknowledges that reality, the situation changes. Speaking to a core truth, whether or not another person acknowledges it, can create a shift in the world.
Truth telling is the recognition of what is complete in the moment and naming it. In many cultures' mythologies, it is the naming of a spirit, knowing the truth behind a deception, or uncovering a mystery that leads to the next stage of growth.
What layers of the truth do you have yet to uncover?
Friday, December 05, 2008
To allow yourself to be taken by life, by God
I often write in my journal during challenging times and good times as well. The practice of reflection can help to integrate and synthesize experiences, to draw the bitterness out of difficult circumstances and to highlight the preciousness of uplifting times.
During a period of extreme personal challenge in the spring of last year, I wrote some thoughts to recapture my faith. I condensed these thoughts into a quote, which to my surprise seems to have touched many people. It lives in my email signature.
During a period of extreme personal challenge in the spring of last year, I wrote some thoughts to recapture my faith. I condensed these thoughts into a quote, which to my surprise seems to have touched many people. It lives in my email signature.
To allow yourself to be taken by life, by God to the shallow edges and the deep ocean, to learn to live with fear, to seek to serve, to be gracious, to love. Perhaps that is all there is - not the having, but the practice of being carried and submitting to that which calls you.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sleepwalking
In Buddhism, there is the idea that most people are sleepwalking through life and the purpose is to awaken. While it may seem that you are often awake in your life, it may be less so than you think.
When coaching people, I often ask them to describe exactly what happened with a difficult or troubling situation. This activity is different than telling the "story" of what happened (e.g. "this person doesn't respect me"). "Tell me what words were said. Describe the actions that took place." This practice can help someone to awaken by calling upon the ability to observe carefully.
Sometimes, at a specific point in the situation, a person is unable to clearly remember what was said or done. "I don't remember exactly what happened next." This can be an illuminating point to determine where an underlying issue, overwhelming feeling, or trigger reaction came into being and where the person fell asleep, so to speak. Then, I ask the person to take time to recollect carefully or to watch for the same moment in a future situation and record what happens the next time. When these moments are seen clearly for what they are, often the solution or clarity of what's next comes naturally.
If you observe, describe, and become more aware of exactly what happens in a challenging situation, what can be revealed?
When coaching people, I often ask them to describe exactly what happened with a difficult or troubling situation. This activity is different than telling the "story" of what happened (e.g. "this person doesn't respect me"). "Tell me what words were said. Describe the actions that took place." This practice can help someone to awaken by calling upon the ability to observe carefully.
Sometimes, at a specific point in the situation, a person is unable to clearly remember what was said or done. "I don't remember exactly what happened next." This can be an illuminating point to determine where an underlying issue, overwhelming feeling, or trigger reaction came into being and where the person fell asleep, so to speak. Then, I ask the person to take time to recollect carefully or to watch for the same moment in a future situation and record what happens the next time. When these moments are seen clearly for what they are, often the solution or clarity of what's next comes naturally.
If you observe, describe, and become more aware of exactly what happens in a challenging situation, what can be revealed?
